


Thanks, I Hate It

by Nervousshrimp



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: College AU, F/F, Fluff, Getting The Girl, Kara has anxiety but shes dealing, Kara is an alien, Lena's family is actually good to her bc that girl is suffering and I need it to stop, Meet-Cute, feelings confessions, its GAY folks, they meet in chemistry class bc chemistry is gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:28:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21762232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nervousshrimp/pseuds/Nervousshrimp
Summary: "Kara Danvers never understood the hype about having crushes.She became aware of them a bit later in her life than her peers due to the whole ‘my life was uprooted to another planet’ issue. So it was by no fault of her own that she didn’t really know what they were until her high school years, but it took even longer for her to realize that such a concept even applied to her as an alien being."Kara discovers what it's like having a crush for the first time when Lena Luthor strolls into her life and then she figures out what to do with her feelings
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 18
Kudos: 588





	Thanks, I Hate It

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Friends!
> 
> So this is basically just a work of me trying to deal with my own feelings. I don't experience crushes often and they scare me because anxiety is a bitch and I have a lot of trauma that prevents me from feeling okay with being attracted to people, so when I randomly discovered I have feelings for the girl who has sat behind me in one of my classes all semester, I freaked the heck out and this is me processing it through fanfiction. 
> 
> SO, I hope you like this little one-shot of dorks being cute :)

Kara Danvers never understood the hype about having crushes.

She became aware of them a bit later in her life than her peers due to the whole _‘my life was uprooted to another planet’_ issue. So it was by no fault of her own that she didn’t really know what they were until her high school years, but it took even longer for her to realize that such a concept even applied to her as an alien being.

It wasn’t that Kara couldn’t notice people’s attractiveness, she had no problem passing by a cute human in the street and acknowledging to herself that they looked attractive in their nice suit or a casual outfits, she just never felt any urge to act further than to have the thought, then let it pass and move on with her life. 

Honestly, when you’re adjusting to life on a new planet, there are so many other things that take the focus away from paying much attention to the people around you. Of course Kara wanted to have a person to cuddle up with and share kisses, there just was never a moment that struck her where she found someone she felt like she wanted that with. 

Instead, her priorities ended up being learning a new language, a new culture and lifestyle. And sure, school was a breeze for her advanced mind, so she ended up having more time to herself than the average human child, but it was hard to find a moment to relax when you’re concealing a whole part of your existence.

So really, crushes were at the bottom of Kara’s to-do list until one random day in her senior year of college when feelings decided to make themselves known and forced themselves up to the top of the list. 

Since it was her last year at university, things were finally a bit more chilled out and there had been a comforting lack of curveballs thrown her way.  Perhaps it was just that she had gotten too comfortable with it being her last year of school and the last week of classes before winter break that made life wanted to throw her off her game. Kara really wasn’t sure what it was that made that particular Monday special but that Monday morning would change her life forever. 

Snow was starting to fall over National City University as the semester came to a close and classes were winding down to finals. It was admittedly hard to get out of bed in the morning to go out in the cold weather when under the covers was just so cozy, but it was the last week and Kara knew she’d feel guilty skipping out on classes when she was so close to the finish line.  So, she stumbled her way through brushing her teeth, threw some product in her short curly hair and jeans on her legs and made it to class with a minute to spare. 

She sank down into the hard plastic chair just at the professor was handing out the quiz sheets for the day, Kara grabbed the sheets and passed the pile back to the rest of her row, and just like every other time, Lena Luthor accepted the pile from behind, smiled and said “Thank you, Kara.” As she had done many times before. 

If you asked her later, Kara wouldn’t be able to pinpoint what exactly changed, Lena Luthor was no stranger to Kara. They had worked together on several group assignments in class, they’d walked out of class together and chatted briefly about plans for fall break where Kara learned that Lena loves going home to play chess with her brother and enjoy her parents' good-natured banter.

There was even one morning when Kara was having a particularly rough day and she laid her head down on her desk as she waited for class to start, willing herself not to cry in public. But a soft hand tapped her shoulder and there was Lena with her sharp green eyes looking uncharacteristically soft under her furrowed brow and she said, 

“Are you alright, Kara?”

It took a second to formulate a response as Kara grappled with the fact that she had seen Lena make science puns in class, she’d seen her smirk at Kara's jokes and glare at Mike being dumb, but she’d never seen her look so gentle. Then a few more seconds as Kara cleared her throat to make sure no warbles gave away the things she was feeling inside as she responded with a shy smile and a dismissive wave of her hand.

“Oh yeah, I’m okay. Just didn’t get a whole lot of sleep last night so I’m pretty tired.” 

Technically it wasn’t a lie, just an omission of the whole truth and much to her surprise, Kara read a bit of doubt in the way Lena stared her down.In the end, Lena nodded and took the answer, not wanting to push too far with someone she didn’t know very well. 

So, Kara turned back around to face the front of the room, grateful not to be prodded further so she could zone out and stare at the brick wall for the rest of the period in peace. 

It was such a small gesture of kindness, but enough that the swirling cloud of anxiety in Kara’s head was interrupted for a bit while her brain pondered the fact that maybe Kara wasn’t as invisible to everyone else as she initially thought she was. 

Kara didn’t even notice her anxiety had quieted until she felt the sensation of heat rushing to her cheeks at the thought that Lena Luthor, with the pretty green eyes and deep quiet voice, knew her name. 

So clearly, the two had known each other for a few months now, in fact, Kara had even been considering an attempt to befriend Lena after determining that she was the kind of genuine seeming person that maybe, _just maybe,_ could be trusted. That is, if Kara could first figure out how to be confident enough to start a conversation in a non-awkward way.

But that all flew straight out the window on that particular Monday morning in question when Kara watched her name slip out from between Lena’s smiling pink lips and that familiar sight sent Kara’s heart into a very unfamiliar high speed chase. 

Kara whipped around in her desk and slapped her cool hands over her cheeks to hide the hot red blush spreading over her face and down her neck. 

The flash of the projector turned on and the professor started his lecture for the day but Kara was no longer prepared to pay attention to an hour of chemistry no matter how much she enjoyed learning about Earth’s many fascinating elements and their reactions because s uddenly her hands were damp and she was sweating from places no sweat had ever come from before and her brain had only enough room for one thought:

_ 'Gosh, Lena Luthor is so pretty! When did she get so pretty?' _

Not that Lena hadn't been absolutely gorgeous before, Kara had noticed the first time they met that Lena was an extraordinary kind of beautiful for a human. But at the time, Kara was too tunnel visioned to give it much more thought. It certainly caught her attention, but she didn’t know Lena’s personality matched the beauty she possessed on the outside and Kara always thought it was a bit reckless to pine after someone you don't even know. 

Now, months later after discovering some of the wonderful things that make Lena Luthor so kind Kara found herself hurrying out the classroom door with her anxiety spiking from zero to seven over the span of only five seconds. She rushed down the hall to the restroom, and for the first time in her life, the weird sterile smell of public bathroom was actually a welcome change from the stifling atmosphere of the classroom. 

_What the hell just happened?_

Lena had taken the stack of papers, smiled and thanked Kara, and the only response available in Kara’s mind was that Lena was so beautiful and _fuck_ , Kara really wanted to hold her hand. And that's when it clicked:

_ This.  _

This is what Alex was talking about when she first described the word _‘crush’_ all those years ago. The sweaty palms, racing heartbeat and odd desire to be close to someone. It was finally all coming together right in front of her, but the stimulus of it all was quite overwhelming for one alien to handle in a single day.

Unfortunately, it didn’t end with that one day.

Kara regained her footing a bit on Tuesday when she didn’t have any classes to go to. She took a walk in the snow and got hot chocolate from her favorite coffee shop with Alex. Despite the copious amounts of sugar consumed, Kara felt sleepy, relaxed and cozy as she spent the rest of her day curled up in bed with a good book.

But Wednesday it came back with a vengeance. 

A bubbling hot pit of anxiety in her stomach is what woke her up that morning with the thought of going to Chemistry class again and seeing Lena. 

Any hope that it had been a passing feeling was gone, this weird feeling was apparently here to stay. 

Kara stumbled her way through the rest of the week, desperately wanting to interact with Lena normally like she used to but finding it incredibly hard to even say hi without her voice sounding shaky or her toe tapping nervously under her desk. And the worst part of it all was seeing that look in Lena’s eyes like she knew  _ something _ was up, she definitely didn’t know exactly why Kara was acting strange but it was clear she was sensing something off. 

It was, frankly, quite exhausting to have a crush and even though there was a part of Kara that was so excited to finally be experiencing this sort of quintessential human experience, she was terrified of what it would bring. 

Movies always showed these sorts of things in such a romantic way, but Kara’s experience with crushes in the past fell dramatically short of that expectation. Although Kara never had crushes on anyone before Lena, she found herself on the receiving end of such interactions much more than she ever wished to be. 

The men on this planet just didn’t seem to have a handle on expressing feelings in any sort of respectful way and Kara had received too many uncomfortable messages, pictures and in-person advances that put a sour taste in her mouth at the thought of having a crush of her own.

Although, at this point in time she was at least seventy five percent sure that Lena wasn’t going to be creepy like some of the other humans, but Kara also didn’t know how to communicate what she was feeling in a way that wouldn't creep out Lena either. They had just started to bond more and what if saying something ruined what could have been a good friendship? 

If she had more time, Kara may have given it a bit more thought, but their semester ended in three days now and with such a large campus, there was no guarantee she would ever see Lena again after their shared class was over. And sure, it was still just a crush and it would eventually pass if she never saw Lena again, but it was her first crush and it was for someone with such a big heart. Kara simply couldn’t let this opportunity pass her by or she knew she’d kick herself because if there was even the slightest chance that Lena was interested, then maybe it was worth the risk. 

The plan in her head was to just pull Lena aside after their very last class in three days, but the universe again seemed to take no pity on her as Kara ended up literally running right into her crush on the way to the library several days before her plan was set to go into motion.

The sun was setting in the sky behind Lena’s dark hair, making the edges look reddish gold against her black locks. Her cheeks were pink from the chilly winter air and Kara was greeted with that soft smile that Lena seemed to only use on rare occasions. It was that kind of weird special moment where Kara felt like she was somehow in her own romantic comedy movie with the gorgeous lighting around them, a light snow falling and a very coincidental run-in with the girl who wouldn’t get out of her head. _Maybe it was a sign?_

“Hey, I never see you outside of class, it's good to see you, Kara!” 

“Oh yeah, you’re right! I haven’t seen you outside of class before. It’s good to see your face somewhere other than under those horrible fluorescent classroom lights. I always feel like I'm under interrogation lights in there.” Kara grinned as Lena chuckled at her joke. Yeah, this was definitely a sign that she should just go for it while she was on a roll.

Kara got caught up in the way Lena’s head tipped back in laughter, snowflakes fell onto her eyelashes and left sparkling drops on her pale skin, and _wow,_ maybe she’s actually not the most beautiful human but possibly the most beautiful sentient being Kara has ever met. She’s so caught up that she tunes back into the world just as she hears Lena saying that she won’t keep Kara waiting any longer and waves goodbye.

The world suddenly feels like its moving in slow motion as Lena takes the first three steps away and Kara’s eyes nearly fall out of her head as she realizes that her chance is slipping away right in front of her. It was like the time she visited that one planet when she was young and their gravity forced you to move at an exaggeratedly slow pace. It was one of her first memories as a child from when she was starting to walk on her own and found it so frustrating that her newfound mobility was being limited by this strange unseen force. Except this time it was all in her head and somehow a hundred times worse to feel like you're watching yourself fuck up in real time but are too slow to do anything about it. But Kara wasn't about to let herself miss out on this, she was a highly advanced being for Rao's sake and she was going to get her romantic movie ending.

“Lena, wait!” 

The words seemed to nearly echo with how loud they were. Kara sees a few other people passing by give her a look that makes her feel seen in the most uncomfortable way possible, but Lena’s attention is back on her and Kara doesn’t have the time to let her anxieties get to her right now. 

In her head, she was always calm as she imagined how this moment would go but now her heart was pounding again and Kara’s mouth was just moving without her control. 

“Hey! So I don’t want to take up too much of your time but I really just need to tell you that well… I mean you seem like a really genuine nice person and _gosh_ , you’re so pretty. So I guess even though it sounds kind of juvenile, what I’m trying to say is that I have a crush on you. And of course it’s superficial because we don’t really know each other that well but the only way to fix that is to hang out and get to know each other! So I was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime… with me?”

  
Finally, the question was out in the open but Kara’s brain wasn’t done panicking about it. Lena just looked so stunned by the amount of words that just came out of Kara’s mouth and in a moment of flawed logic, Kara decided that the way to fix that was with more words. 

“Obviously you have every right to say no and walk away right now, I would never want you to feel like you have to say yes, I just never get crushes like, ever, so I figured I would give it a shot and ask you if you were interested. But your comfort is my priority here so if you need to walk away you can absolutely do so and we don’t have to talk about this ever again. I just really wanted to be honest with you about what I was feeling, you know?”

“Are you okay? I just talked at you a lot and I really hope I didn’t just scare you.” 

Kara cringed once she realized that she had just done the exact thing she was hoping she wouldn't do in this situation. She knew from Alex's explanation that this kind of thing was awkward for humans as well, but whenever she failed at something human, it always made her feel that much more alien. 

But Lena’s lips quirked up in a cautious smile at the way Kara’s cheeks burned bright red. It was clear that this was nerve wracking for her and yet it was the sweetest way anyone had ever asked her out before, it was strange to have someone be so conscious of her feelings. Plus, it certainly didn’t hurt that such an earnest request was coming from the very person Lena found herself longing for all semester. So the answer was quite easy to come upon. 

“You know, I think you’re right. The only way to get to know each other better is to hang out and I would love to get to know you more.” Lena grinned, expecting Kara to be happy with her response but she was met with a blank stare instead.

“I’m sorry… Did you just say yes?” Kara gaped, unable to close her jaw as she took in Lena’s smiling face.

“Yes, I did in fact say yes to you. Did you want me to say no?” Lena quirked her brow, teasing the blonde lightly.

Kara shook her head so quick her glasses ended up crooked on her nose. “Oh, no! I definitely am cool with a yes. Totally chill. I just really wasn't expecting that, you’re like, insanely pretty and I’ve never done this before, although that was probably obvious by how awkward it was.” 

Lena hummed “I don’t know if awkward is the right word. It was very sweet though. I mean, it can’t have gone too terribly if I said yes right?”

“Yes, I suppose you do have a point there.” Finally Kara’s face broke into a crooked smile as she laughed. “God, you’re even funny too, is there anything you aren’t perfect at?” 

Lena giggled and offered her phone out to Kara with her contacts page open. 

“Only one way to find out, darling.” 

Kara took the phone with a deep breath and began typing in her number.

Boy was she ready to find out.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for giving it a read, have a great rest of your day, mate!


End file.
